BASKETBALL BABES

SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE MOMS WHO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BABIES OUT THERE

WITHOUT MOMS THERE WOULD BE NO BALL

WISH I COULD HAVE BOUGHT U A LEXUS WITH BALL MONEY MOM BUT IM A POOR POST PLAYER WITH NOT A LOT OF SPEED

BOBBY

Best Parochial Point Guard Ever

Went 115-5 in high school while u went 3-7 with popular babes

Back to back titles in 1991 n 1992

All time NCCA assist leader with 1076. Thats a ton of sharing

Jersey #11 was retired in 1993, leaving jersey #666 still an unused killer option at Duke

Went 7th in the 1993 Draft

Bad Car Crash did him no favors and his court vision never recovered

Does the racehorse ownership thing now

JR RIDER

From Oakland

Last of the oversized, slowish, good shooting guards

Threw a milkshake at a Jack in Box drive thru window and the police put him in jail, huh?

Went #5 in 1993, between the legs dunk during all-star weekend generally considered the most amazing ever

Loves weed

Then had an illegal cell phone which charged his calls to someone else, what?

Got arrested on Skid Row in LA on a car theft charge.

Now playing pro-ball in Fort Worth. For the North Texas Fresh.

GRANDMAMA LJ

From Tyler Tx

UNLV Scoring Monster, they hurt Duke so bad in 1990

Still ranked 12th in Running Rebel scoring and 7th in rebounds even tho he only played 2 seasons, Productive

NCAA Player of the year in 1991, Went number 1 in the ensuing draft.

Greatest Hornet ever, if he had'nt hurt his back, who knows.

During the 1999 NBA Finals, Johnson characterized the Knicks as a band of "rebellious slaves." Bill Walton later called Johnson and his performance "a disgrace to the game of basketball." Johnson was asked about the play of San Antonio Spurs point guard Avery Johnson in Game 4, Johnson again shifted the topic to slavery. "That's my man, Ave, because we're from the same plantation. We've both got the Johnson name," he said. "You tell Bill Walton that. We're from Massa Johnson's plantation." WHOA

Those Grandmama Converse Ads were Avant Garde

ALLAN HOUSTON

Blue blood Kentucky shooter, racehorses + bourbon + corvettes + basketball + bluegrass + Slint = Great

All-time leading Tennessee scorer, Dad as coach didn't hurt

10th all-time in NBA 3 pointers made

Devastating set-up shooter, get lazy and leave him open; be prepared to pay

Arguably ruined the Knicks by soaking up all that salary cap money, this huge salary and bad knee made him untradeable. And the Knicks are almost unwatchable, (Woody Allen head in hands)

Not scared of Jordan

DETLEF SCHREMPF

Hardworking West Germany transplant.

Perennial Sixth Man Award Winner

Accurate long-range shooter, in the paint banger

First European player to score over 15000 points and look fine with a buster high top

Name misspelled in every small town paper box score forever

The prophet of the coming age of Euro-ball: Good Shooters, Dangly earrings, and turtleneck suit setups on the bus to the arena

You already know he wears bad shades

Put an uzi in his hands and presto, Die Hard extra.

SHAQ ATTAQ

SHAQ DIESEL went platinum in 9 days, "All you Jealous Punks cant stop my dunks" scribbled on notebooks everywhere.

San Antonio's biggest contribution to the world, went 68-1 at Cole High

Funny on curb your enthusiasm n' CB4

Started the superman tattoo craze of the mid 90's, ouch

Back in 1992 The Sporting News predicted the rise of the "ULTRA CENTER" they were sure there'd be 10 SHAQS in the league in 10 years. Nope.

Made it ok to miss free throws and bump your way down to low post, old guys at your local game love this now

Movies aint shit tho and he's a cop

JEWISH JORDAN

Tamir Goodman is the Best Jewish Basketball player ever, I know, its like saying he's the smartest unicorn

Averaged 35 points and 14 rebounds per game in 11th Grade.

Joined Michael Jordan and LeBron James as MVP of the Capital Classic

Slated to play for Maryland, but got released when they couldn't move the schedule around to avoid Saturday play.

Bummer. Religious laws stopped the birth of a new Jewish sports explosion. How is that HOLY?

You would have seen Chassid Dudes in Knicks Jerseys and AND1 shorts. No Bad Thing.

UTAH CAN BALL

Runnin' Utes are 9th all-time in total wins/wives

Made 28 NCAA Tournament appearances, which ranks 7th all-time.

10 outright conference championships (28 championships overall) is the 5th best in NCAA history.

Absolutely slept on by everybody including you.

Big White Boys and Unfriendly Guards

Rick was a Hoot. Loves Food/Fun

PIPPEN

Better with Jordan

G. HILL

While a Blue Devil, was the first player in ACC history to collect more than 1900 points, 700 rebounds, 400 assists, 200 steals and 100 blocked shots. Thats Mr. All-Around.

The Sporting News Rookie of the Year 1994.

In his second season Hill led the league in triple-doubles, where his 13 triple-doubles represented 35 percent of the league's triple-double total that season. BALANCED.

After the first six seasons of his career, before his ankle injury, Hill had a total of 9,393 points, 3,417 rebounds and 2,720 assists. Oscar Robertson and Larry Bird are the only two players in league history to eclipse these numbers after their first six seasons.

How can there be a God if Grant Hill keeps getting hurt.

Switched from Fila to Adidas. Duh.

Hill owns a substantial collection of African-American art, centering on the work of Romare Bearden and Elizabeth Catlett. A selection of 46 works from the collection were featured in a touring exhibition at a number of American museums from 2003 to 2006. Good Taste.

RAY ALLEN

On the list of top 5 most accurate 3 point shooters of the 1990's. Deadly.

UConn God.

Has OCD, due in part to his meticulous shooting style.

Made 72 consecutive free throws. Stays late after practice, obviously.

9 time All-Star

Man awakens from coma: Wait up, the Celtics are black now?