HBD MIKE JORDAN

Hey Mike stop texting that hostess you just met from your golf cart in Houston this weekend. Put down the phone and accept a happy birthday from GoodCourtVision, Nike Gatorade, McDonalds, Warner Bros, Hanes, Upper Deck, 2K Sports, the Bobcats, those restaurants in North Carolina and your car dealership.

D(C)REAM TEAM

Analysis of 1992 "Dream Team" is unneccesary I reckon. Ewing and Laettner were headscratchers (notice how uncomfortable they look in the team photo LOL), but every other bit speaks for itself

Mullen got sick eating mussels

Of Note: Lithuanians bronze medal mellow mushroom daddies included because they were brilliant and hysterical.

MITCH RICHMOND: HONEST EYES

"The Rock" was drafted #5 by the Warriors in the strangely soggy white bread 1988 draft.


Worked at a video rental shop while in school for a bit while at K State. (Good Visual)


Rookie of the year 1989, All-Star MVP 1994-1995 tho never a household name = his brother was his agent.


Good Slasher/Movement. Super Soft Accurate Jumper got you everywhere in that era.


First Kings star. Thank god for the tech explosion in San Jose, Oracle and Netscape kept the Kings accounting liquidity in the black by buying blocks of tickets for years as limp gifts to employees.


36th all-time scorer with one of the highest FG% of the modern era while getting double teamed for 7 years deserves respect.


Always played hurt, always played hard. Banger.


Lets not talk about that Laker piggyback champion ring thing too much, he paid for it emotionally in those early round playoff exits.


Scouts for the Warriors now which is like selling fur coats in Sri Lanka, born to suffer I guess. Love you Mitch.

PENNY HARDAWAY

Named Penny because of grandma's southern drawl affected nickname for him which was PRETTY (seriously)

Was a ref at Memphis area YMCA's in high school while a top 10 prep player

When he committed to Memphis 8ball & MJG released a song on local rap station which no one has apparently

Got shot in the foot by a Glock while at a party a month into his freshman season (Fuck)

Kept a 3.4 GPA while redefining what a point guard should do (he averaged 9 rpgs)

Made Shaq crack up everyday during filming for Blue Chip and Shaq begged the front office for him. They took him instead of eternally sullen Chris Webber. He then took that sore thumb from NBA Jam Scott Skiles' job in Orlando and never looked back.

Could dunk, shoot, and pass like nobody else in 94-96.

Big Scoring Playoff King

Inside or Outside Threat

Stunned by Shaq trade. Had no idea.

Everybody forgets he had 6 knee surgeries in the era where even stars played hurt. Lost his speed and his confidence. Another casualty of "Its all in your mind" "Play through Pain" bullshit

His shoes started the shoe collector movement

Only Magic jersey that looked ok ever.

Lil Penny spots were the bomb. HEY TYRA YOU LEFT YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AT MY HOUSE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTZAIjA38l4&feature=related (LOLOLOLOLOLOL)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poKrDMTTPJE&feature=related (LOL)

Laid Back Excellence

GRADUATION EDITON

Shout out to those that know you get 7 to 11 years to make all the money you can playing ball and supplant that with some paper ya'll.

Because if you don't you've got three options: Coach, Car Dealer, On-Air Analyst.

Of Note: Stackhouse got a BA in African American Art and Penny got a BS in Business Managment

CHARLIE WARD AS LITERAL SPORTSCENTER

CHARLIE WARD IS THE BEST ALL-AROUND (CHRISTIAN) ATHLETE OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY

WON THE HEISMAN AND NATIONAL TITLE AT FLORIDA STATE, WAS DRAFTED BY THE YANKEES, COULD HAVE BEEN A PRO TENNIS PLAYER, IFFY SIZE AND BLOODLUST FOR FOOTBALL PUSHED HIM TO CLASSEST BALL SPORT: BASKETBALL.

TOOK STANDOUT RB WARRICK DUNN UNDER HIS WING WHEN HIS COP MOM WAS SHOT IN THE LINE OF DUTY, SOLID BRO

LABELED "POINT GUARD OF THE FUTURE" BY KNICKS, PAT RILEY SEEMED TO THINK OTHERWISE AND CHARLIE MISSED MINUTES. BECAME A KNICK BACKCOURT FIXTURE THO WHEN ZOMBIE VAN GUNDY GAVE HIM HIS TIME BACK

CHIEFS WANTED HIM TO BACK UP JOE MONTANA AND ASKED THE KNICKS IF THEY COULD HAVE HIS SUNDAYS FOR A FEW MONTHS. KNICKS SAID NO.

IM THINKING GOOD PARENTING AT WORK RIGHT HERE

SAID SOME FUNNY THINGS ABOUT "STUBBORN" JEWS IN NY AS A KNICK WHICH PROBABLY MADE WOODY ALLEN LESS INCLINED TO CLAP LIMPLY DURING STARTING LINEUP INTRODUCTIONS FEATURING CHARLIE. WHATEVER, YOU MARRIED YOUR STEP-DAUGHTER.

COACHES IN HOUSTON NOW

JORDAN'S BREAKDOWN INTO BASEBALL

People forget that Jordan had a shitty 1993. His Father was murdered by teenagers (one of which was wearing a Jordan T-shirt) while sleeping at a rest stop in NC. The Dream Team hype was intense, his who-cares-hes-got-money-in-the-bank gambling habit made headlines and Barkley wrenched away the MVP earlier that year.

Baseball was his way of getting out the game. Like when your Dad moves out for a while, just chill he's got his reasons

51 RBIs in AAA ball is not a joke, good contact hitter, Darryl Strawberryesque.

Jordan looked mean finally. I searched the earth for a white sox jersey which honestly would have remained unseen by peers as my school wouldnt let you wear sox gear anyways. (They'd make you turn that shit inside-out. lol.)

Glad he returned, remember crybaby Pippen's short lived status as team leader, they went 31-31 till MJ listened to his brain and every living thing on earth and came back

REGGIE MILLER & KNICK TORMENT

You know what, I'm having a hard fucking time coming up with some positive things to say right now.

Those Pacer squads were always on TNT and exceptionally dull, they always had a mysterious christian vibe that I cant prove or describe. I imagined their locker room akin to a discount tire waiting room, filled with family talk and devoid of humor

Our house cried out in anguish and Mom threw a shoe at the TV when he scored 8 points in 9 seconds against our elegant Knicks. I called her to get her thoughts on him for this post this morning and she went off on the nerd, said he looked and played like an overzealous manager at a department store.

Felt confused and alone when Jay-Z strolled down Lexington Ave in his jersey in that "I Cant Get With That" video. I thought Mayor Dinkins outlawed Pacer jerseys when he banned handguns in the city.

I'd rather backpack in chains thru Sierra Leone with a talkative John Stockton then stand in the same line as Reggie

Umm his sister is funny and pretty cool

Thats it. Lets get this over with already. I hate you Reggie.